You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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