Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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