What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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