everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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