Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
