Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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