So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh god it's open bar.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
