I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
