I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
