what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
