his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am spending my child support on dildos
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
