Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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