How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had to cum in my sink.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
