I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
