i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
