You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
