a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
