This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize