I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
should my penis look like a turkey
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
