Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
