Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
