he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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