Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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