Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
