Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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