I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize