Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Quick, to the slutcave!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
