He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
