real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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