Kiss
Puke
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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