You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize