i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
