i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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