we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
