Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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