That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize