the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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