You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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