was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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