its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
