I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
