I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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