i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
