Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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