Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
