Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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