so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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