i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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