He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
