apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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