They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
