so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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