a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
