But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
