so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
