"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
