What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
