This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
