I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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