clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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