Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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