I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We are all done wearing pants today
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
