So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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