wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
