the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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