Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize