just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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