Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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