wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize