Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
