i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
