Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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