i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
